Submission survival

Alright, so I did it.

After my angsty, fear-induced state of panic this weekend, I finally did my second polish on DOWN -- my OCD polish, as I like to call it. I stayed up until 1:30am and made myself do it. And then I made myself send out two fulls.

So, there. I survived.

I am sending a third full out today, and have to write a synopsis to go along with the partial, and that might be later in the week. But, the important thing is that I am moving forward.

I still am going to query a ton more agents, but the harder part is over. I've broken the ice and achieved another milestone in my path to agentdom and publication. (Yes, I am freaking tired and had to suck down a ton of coffee today at work.)

My YA author friend, Mindi Scott (FREEFALL, Simon Pulse 2010) had a blog entry from summer that I re-discovered today. She is working on a second book called LIVE THROUGH THIS and in June she wrote about her own angst/panic and feeling like the project sucked. She said:

At some point after I've been toiling for months on end, I'll realize that nothing in the story is going the way I want, that I've made a huge mistake deciding to write this book, that I shouldn't be a writer at all, that my life is meaningless without writing and my misery is endless, and what is the point of any of this anyway?

It comforted me and also reminded me that ALL writers have these moments of terror, of self-doubt, of hopelessness. We all cry, eat too much Ben and Jerry's in the heat of the moment, and stare at our computer screens with desperation and exhaustion, wondering how the hell we can type another word. Mindi is a great writer, and if you haven't read FREEFALL, please do yourself a favor and go buy it now on Amazon. Following Mindi's journey from pre-publication to now second and third books gives me courage and hope to keep going.

I have no idea how long it's going to take me to land an agent, but I have to try...