Best E-Reader: Kindle Fire HD or iPad Mini

I've prolonged the search for an e-reader for over a year because: a.) I couldn't justify the cost; and b.) I didn't want to spend money on something I wasn't going to use that much. At the time, I was only going to occasionally read an e-book. My lifestyle is completely different now, and totally warrants getting an e-reader with additional capabilities. I've had a Kindle Fire HD in mind, but also have a good friend who loves her iPad Mini. Which one should I choose?

Kindle Fire HD, according to Amazon:

• Promoted as "The World's Most Advanced 7-Inch Tablet"
• 4 Stars on Amazon
• HD Display, Dolby Audio, Dual-Band Dual-Antenna Wi-Fi, 16GB or 32GB
• Price starts at $199 and goes up to $229
• Available with special offers from Amazon
• 1280x800 HD display with polarizing filter and anti-glare technology for rich color and deep contrast from any viewing angle
• Exclusive Dolby audio and dual-driver stereo speakers for immersive, virtual surround sound
• World's first tablet with dual-band, dual-antenna Wi-Fi for over 35% faster downloads and streaming 
• High performance 1.2 Ghz dual-core processor with Imagination PowerVR 3D graphics core for fast and fluid performance
• Over 23 million movies, TV shows, songs, magazines, books, audiobooks, and popular apps and games such as Facebook, Netflix, Twitter, HBO GO, Pandora, and Angry Birds Space
• Integrated support for Facebook, Twitter, Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo! and more, as well as Exchange calendar, contacts, and email
• Front-facing HD camera for taking photos or making video calls using Skype, Facebook, and other apps
• Free unlimited cloud storage
• Kindle owners can choose from more than 270,000 books to borrow for free with no due dates, including over 100 current and former New York Times best sellers

Apple iPad Mini, according to Apple:

• 9.7 Inches
• Price starts at $329 and goes up to $659
• 16, 32, or 64 GB
• 300,000 apps made for iPad
• 10 hours of battery life
• iSight camera that shoots and records HD video in full 1080p
• Front-facing HD camera that shoots 720p and makes video calls
• Advanced dual band wi-fi
• Apps, movies, music, tv shows from iTunes Store and App Store
• IOS6, "The World's Most Advanced Operating System"
• iCloud storage for content
• Apple Retail Store and phone support with real people

Amazon appears to have a better sales pitch, and I do like the idea of using Amazon Prime with the Kindle, but I also am very pleased with Apple products. Since I use iTunes to purchase apps, music, TV shows and movies, I am already a customer. I don't really watch TV anymore, so anything I do watch is downloaded or streamed. I feel more comfortable reaching out to Apple if I need technical support. I've heard that dealing with Amazon can be impossible. Amazon also doesn't care about making money on hardware, because it makes it's money on content that is consumable even using an iPad Mini--Amazon built a bunch of apps for it.

So, it looks like I'll be saving up for the iPad Mini. 

Do you own either device? Which do you prefer? Leave a comment below!

The Time Has Come: Goodbye Print, Hello E-Books

Those who know me personally realize how big of a deal this is for me: I am ready to donate all my books to a local non-profit and buy an e-reader. Yes, the person who swore up and down that I would have a giant library of paper books when I'm eighty has finally caved. Truth be told, I'm tired of moving books around. And I have a lot of books. So many, in fact that a friend took a marker and wrote on one of my boxes: "Books, lots and lots of books, way too many books," when he helped me move a few weeks ago. He was right. 

A good writer friend of mine and I would often talk about bookstores and how holy they feel. When I am having a bad day or need to feel motivated to write, I go amongst books. I smell the binding, turn the pages and feel something tangible in my hands. I don't believe that bookstores will go away; I think they will continue to go out of business as e-books dominate the market and technology makes it that much easier to access novels instantly. Some bookstores will always remain, but they may be harder to find. I believe that there will be die-hard print lovers who will help the market sustain future print sales. It will be anyone's guess as to where the industry will be in five years.

I remember carrying around a backpack full of textbooks throughout elementary, junior high and high schools, as well as my undergrad program. No wonder my back is so messed up today. Now, more and more schools are trying to use e-books and educational tablets to teach future generations. It's a smart and practical idea, if funding is there. 

Most of my books are going to end up at the teen center where I volunteer as a creative writing teacher. Many of the girls I mentor absolutely love reading, and the one or two who don't are warming up to the idea. Sometimes I buy them books with my own money, and we have a book club to talk about our favorite parts of the novel we're reading at that time. I am excited to give them more titles to explore. 

Which e-reader am I considering? Good question. I'll save that for another post...

On My To-Read List: The Program by Suzanne Young

I haven't had time to read for fun. This is partly due to my schedule and non-profit work, partly due to the fact that I am working on my thesis. Last week, I heard Jay Asher give a glowing recommendation for a new dystopian YA book called The Program, by Suzanne Young (Simon Pulse, 416 pages). At first, it seemed like the book was trying to ride the dystopian wave created by Delirium by Lauren Oliver (which was about a world where love was considered a disease and needed to be eradicated; this book is the same idea except depression is Public Enemy #1). I Googled the book and read some reviews of people who were skeptics at first but ended up loving The Program.

In Sloane’s world, true feelings are forbidden, teen suicide is an epidemic, and the only solution is The Program. 

Sloane knows better than to cry in front of anyone. With suicide now an international epidemic, one outburst could land her in The Program, the only proven course of treatment. Sloane’s parents have already lost one child; Sloane knows they’ll do anything to keep her alive. She also knows that everyone who’s been through The Program returns as a blank slate. Because their depression is gone—but so are their memories. 

Under constant surveillance at home and at school, Sloane puts on a brave face and keeps her feelings buried as deep as she can. The only person Sloane can be herself with is James. He’s promised to keep them both safe and out of treatment, and Sloane knows their love is strong enough to withstand anything. But despite the promises they made to each other, it’s getting harder to hide the truth. They are both growing weaker. Depression is setting in. And The Program is coming for them.

The cover art was what first intrigued me, in a disturbing, clinical way. I don't generally read dystopian because it creeps me out. (I couldn't even handle The Hunger Games violence between children--yes, it's true!) I do wonder, though, how many more books can come out in the dystopian category that deal with a problem/emotion that a government is trying to end.

Another question I have is: Why is depression so rampant in the book? Yes, depression and suicide are definitely issues that many teens deal with, but The Program makes it seem like this contagious, unstoppable disease that is out to destroy society. Is it because any feelings are forbidden, thus creating a buildup inside the characters without any coping skills to manage them? I guess the only way to know for sure is to read it.

Have you read The Program? What do you think? Leave a comment below!

Channeling the Writing Muse: Elizabeth Gilbert and "Your Elusive Creative Genius"

I had big plans this summer for a major revision of one of my YA manuscripts. In fact, I had postponed finishing another YA novel in order to polish the first one up for agents. Then, it happened: the Writing Muse came in and told me it has other plans...and it's not for a YA book. It's not even for a fiction book!

I've been graced by the writing muse before, and she is very familiar. The voice starts talking, and if I don't listen, it harasses me until I start writing things down. It talks all day and all night. This past weekend, I spent two days sequestered while I listened to the voice. Sometimes I argued; sometimes I told it to bug off and that there was no way I could write a book based on the idea it had. The muse always wins. I've learned to trust her because some of my best writing has come out of the process.

Writers put a lot of pressure on ourselves to produce great work...or even to produce at all. Sometimes the sheer terror of sitting down and actually opening our hearts and minds to a blank page is enough to stop us before we start. So, we wait. And some of us never begin again. I don't want to be a writer who stops and never starts back up. When the muse flies in, I know she's got something important to say. Every writer should trust the process. We also need to stop taking ourselves so seriously and let the channeling happen on its own.

One of my favorite non-YA authors, Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love), gave a TED Talk called, "Your Elusive Creative Genius," in which she talks about motivation, creative genius, and the muse:

How often does the muse speak to you? If she hasn't, have you been listening enough?

The revision process: Why self-care is so important for writers

Source: abohemian1.tumblr.com 

After reviewing feedback on my manuscript from Laurie Halse Anderson, Sarah Aronson and Nova Ren Suma, I pulled the trigger and began the sloooow process of the 4th set of revisions on Down (my first novel I wrote as my MFA thesis). Deadine: September 1st.

On Sunday morning, I had a breakfast date at a local diner and then I forced myself to go sit in a coffee shop and revise for 4 hours. It was painful. Why? Good question. I tried to answer that myself. I think a lot of it is the huge expectations I always have for myself and the quality of my work. Another part of it is that people are waiting to read this next set of revisions. No pressure, right?

And so every time I turn on my laptop, open the Word doc and stare at Chapter One, I panic. Heart races, head hurts, stomach gets nauseous. I am overwhelmed and thinking, "How the hell can I possibly pull this off?" and "This is going to kill me." (Okay, it won't kill me, but the energy expended is totally horrific and I want to go home and crawl under the covers.) Granted, I am writing dark young adult fiction. It's not like the main characters are going to the mall and then getting manicures. I sit down and bleed out everything into my manuscript, so I guess anyone would feel the same way.

The biggest challenge for me at the moment includes a few things:

• How to keep revising without letting fear scare me into quitting
• How to maintain energy while revising
• Creating a solid self-care plan to stay healthy during this process

The first two are easily addressed: I will break the revision process up and do chapters (10 pages). I will not allow myself to move on or worry about the rest of the book until the current chapter is polished. I can keep my energy levels up by listening to music while I write and also taking breaks to stretch.

The last one is especially important. Self-care is something that has been in many discussions with other writers lately. To create stories and help change the world with our words, writers have to be especially careful not to implode, explode or self-destruct for their craft. I am lucky enough to be spending the summer in a truly inspirational place where there is nothing but silence (and maybe a rooster in the morning). I can walk through gardens and stay barefoot without care. It's a writer's paradise. It's also the universe's way of saying, "You'd better get this book revised!"

Self-care for me will consist of: Plenty of sleep, healthy eating, yoga, venting to writer friends, lots of tasty tea and a few motivational coffees in between, maintaining proper ergonomics for my back and wrists, quiet surroundings, and less self-inflicted pressure. I'll also need to come up with a reward system to keep me going. I've heard of people putting money in a jar each day. Or, at a certain page in a manuscript (say 100), they treat themselves to chocolates and flowers. (I'm thinking a trip to the spa.) There is certainly nothing wrong with dangling a carrot in front of yourself. We writers need to give ourselves a break, because we do something that most people can't muster the ability to do (but would like to). 

Everyone has a story. Some tell theirs; others don't. For those of us who tell and will continue to tell, let's be gentle and kind and loving with ourselves. Our books deserve us at our best, and our readers do, too. 

If you're a writer, what's your self-care plan? How do you keep from going insane? Leave a comment and tell me what it is.

What haunted me at 17

Me on the right during a trip to London

As part of the debut of Nova Ren Suma's book 17 & Gone, many writers are blogging about what haunted them at age 17.

When I was 17, I was a senior in high school: Tall, too skinny, too scared of life. I hated high school. I didn't fully fit into any of the groups; I was not smart enough to hang with the geeks, but not shallow enough to hang with the pretty girls. I had friends from every group, but was only close with a handful. Friday nights were not spent hanging in the park or over at someone's house getting buzzed. I was not allowed to date, not allowed to ride in cars and not allowed to be alone with boys.

I was a ghost in high school. I had a huge crush on a boy named Scott who never noticed me. My body was too thin, my chest was flat and I still had acne plaguing my face. What haunted me at 17 was the feeling of never fully existing--as a human, as a woman, as someone loveable and worth any attention. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time alone in my room on weekends depressed and wishing I could be someone else. If only I had mustered up the confidence to socialize more--to rebel a little and go to a party. To have had a curvier body that a boy wanted to explore, instead of bony hips that got me teased and called anorexic, even though I wasn't. To have had a family that validated me instead of tore me down. To have had less fear about my dreams and more courage to explore the world.

A lot of girls were like me in high school. They came from families who appeared normal on the outside and were completely dysfunctional on the inside: Alcoholic fathers, cruel mothers, grandparents who expected them to smile sweetly and never complain. I didn't know these other girls then, but I know them now. I hear their stories, and they are similar to mine: Lonely girl, unloved, wants to die. When I was 17, I had a nervous breakdown and stayed in bed for 2 days. My family didn't know what to do with me, so they ignored everything. All I wanted was someone to actually listen and not judge.

I am 28 now. I am single after a failed marriage and then a relationship with an abusive narcissist. I am a writer, not yet published, but still writing from the heart of my 17-year-old self. I remember, and it haunts me. I look at photographs and see the girl half-there.

However, I also remember how far I've come, and the things I've learned. I am not a ghost now. I am beautiful. I have curves that men love to explore and a personality that my friends enjoy. I radiate positive energy. I love myself. It has taken a while to get here, but I am here now and that's all that counts. The ghost, the lonely girl half-there now has a world to explore and a dream to embrace. People are listening, waiting to hear what she has to say: That life is worth living...that she is worth it all.

***

About 17 & Gone, the latest novel by Nova Ren Suma:


Girls go missing every day.

They slip out bedroom windows and into strange cars. They leave good-bye notes or they don’t get a chance to tell anyone. They cross borders. They hitch rides, squeezing themselves into overcrowded backseats, sitting on willing laps. They curl up and crouch down, or they shove their bodies out of sunroofs and give off victory shouts. Girls make plans to go, but they also vanish without meaning to, and sometimes people confuse one for the other. Some girls go kicking and screaming and clawing out the eyes of whoever won’t let them stay. And then there are the girls who never reach where they’re going. Who disappear. Their ends are endless, their stories unknown. These girls are lost, and I’m the only one who’s seen them.

I know their names. I know where they end up—a place seeming as formless and boundless as the old well on the abandoned property off Hollow Mill Road that swallows the town’s dogs.

I want to tell everyone about these girls, about what’s happening, I want to give warning, I want to give chase. I’d do it, too, if I thought someone would believe me.

Seventeen-year-old Lauren is having visions of girls who have gone missing. And all these girls have just one thing in common—they are 17 and gone without a trace. As Lauren struggles to shake these waking nightmares, impossible questions demand urgent answers: Why are the girls speaking to Lauren? How can she help them? And… is she next? As Lauren searches for clues, everything begins to unravel, and when a brush with death lands her in the hospital, a shocking truth emerges, changing everything.

With complexity and richness, Nova Ren Suma serves up a beautiful, visual, fresh interpretation of what it means to be lost.

Dutton/Penguin, March 21, 2013
Hardcover and ebook, ISBN 9780525423409

For more information about 17 & Gone, visit:
Nova Ren Suma's official site
Haunted at 17 blog series

AWP Boston 2013: Cheryl Strayed, Augusten Burroughs and Nova Ren Suma

Thousands of writers converged in Boston last week for the Association of Writers and Writing Programs (AWP) annual conference. I have been to AWP before when I went to DC in 2010, so after browsing the list of accepted panels, I felt I really didn't need to go hear a lot of the same stuff again. However, there were two reasons I spent the day in Boston this past Saturday: the Cheryl Strayed/Augusten Burroughs closing presentation, and Nova Ren Suma. I absolutely adore all three writers.

I studied Augusten's work in 2010 while working on my MFA in fiction, and he influenced the development of my voice as a writer. Cheryl Strayed has also influenced not just my writing, but my entire life when I discovered the Dear Sugar column on The Rumpus. It was Cheryl's hauntingly raw, beautiful truth (from responses "The Woman Hanging on the End of the Line" and "Tiny Beautiful Things") that gave me the courage to leave the things that I knew in my heart weren't working last year. She read "Tiny Beautiful Things" in Boston. I cried.

Her advice: "You are not a terrible person for wanting to break up with someone you love. You don't need a reason to leave. Wanting to leave is enough.... Be brave enough to break your own heart."

I sat next to my mentor from New York City, Nova Ren Suma, and we both were just in total awe. Nova and I got to meet in person for the first time at AWP this year, and it was wonderful. I brought one of her books and got it signed. She told me that she knows it's just a matter of time before I get published. I told her that my goal is to revise this summer and query again starting in September.

My life is at the turning point where anything wonderful is within reach. Cheryl Strayed is right when she says, "Don't lament about how much your career is going to turn out. You don't have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write. Keep writing and quit your bitching. Your book has a birthday. You don't know what it is yet."

Yes.

So I will spend the spring and summer doing exactly that. I will keep my head down and my heart open and have the greatest love affair ever with my novel. No distractions, no excuses.

As Cheryl famously says, "Write like a motherfucker."

Writing, success and jealousy

This is my current reality: I’m 28, unpublished, without an agent, with months of revisions in front of me for book #1, and over 200 pages of book #2 to write. This would make most writers cringe. In fact, in the time it took to write these opening words, many writers have given up for good on their dreams. That’s how it usually goes. For every published writer, you have hundreds, maybe thousands who quit. Writers quit for many reasons: money, family, career opportunity, burnout, suicide, addiction…and jealousy. No one really talks about the “J” word, yet it lurks in the shadows at some point in every writer’s life.

Let’s talk hypothetical for a moment. You have a handful of people who are writers. Everyone in this group struggles to some extent to produce work, query, get an agent, revise, land a book deal, revise, revise, revise, and get published. Many don’t realize that the average book takes about 3 years to publish (some books around a year and a half; some even less time if it is anticipated by marketing to be a “hot” book). That doesn’t even include the time the author took to actually write the thing. (That’s a whole other story about time.) So, let’s say that out of this handful of writers, one gives up after a few months and takes a “real” job to pay the bills (I say “real” because many people judge writers as slackers without tangible talent); the others keep going and eventually one—one!—of them lands an agent AND an awesome book deal.

Cue jealousy by group.

I’ve seen these scenarios happen many times. I’ve had pangs of jealousy and beat myself up with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and trash tv after hearing that yet another friend got good news. (I self-loathed for a short time, then got real with myself.) Jealousy is a waste of energy. Sure, all writers would love to be guaranteed publishing. But that’s not how it works. I would love to promise that polished prose is the key to publishing, but that’s not entirely true, either. Publishing is a weird industry that is subjective and about marketability, timing, demand and a slew of other factors. Good, even great writing is just a piece of the puzzle.

Being jealous is a waste of energy. I will say it again: Being jealous is a waste of energy. It’s wasting energy you can be using to motivate your own writing, revise, polish and query your little heart out. Only then, after exhausting every single avenue, every agent, every publisher, do you have the right to pout (for a minute). If you’re not getting traditionally published, then explore self-publishing. If that doesn’t work find another way to share your work with the world. There is always a way to do that. There is always an audience for all of us—always eyes and ears ready for stories.

There is enough for everyone.

If you are a writer who is depressed, ready to give up and sick of trying, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you haven’t landed that agent or published the book of your heart. I used to feel that way, too. Then, I decided that I am only human. I write because I want to, I need to and that outweighs everything else. When my friends’ books appear on shelves, I buy them. I congratulate them on their writing. And then I get back to mine. I may never get anywhere with my writing, but accepting that is part of the journey. I still keep trying, knowing that somewhere in this strange, magnificent world there are eyes waiting for me.

What Sylvia Plath taught me about the fear of writing

The fear of writing has undoubtedly been the biggest obstacle (in my humble opinion) of all writers. It is where writer’s block stems from. It is what drives writers mad, or any artist, really. Writing is art; writers are stuck inside this hamster wheel of pain/produce. What I mean by that is that writers feel and then are compelled to process that feeling by putting words on paper, producing something tangible. The problems come when we have the pain, love, and joy, whatever emotion and then can’t get it out. We fear it. The idea or emotion or thing we wish to express is too grandiose, too complicated, too amazing, too heart wrenching to even begin to let out. So we hold it in. And it drives us mad.

Yes, some writers have gone mad—far too many, yet that seems to be the price we pay for being a vessel of humanity’s deepest, darkest longings. Take Sylvia Plath (one of my favorite writers ever): She committed suicide at age 30 by putting her head in a gas oven. As I write this, it is the 50th anniversary of her death. It was February 11, 1963. Sylvia had been married English poet Ted Hughes and at 28 (which is my current age), published her first book, The Colossus. Her more famous autobiographical novel, The Bell Jar, was published the year she died. In her final months, Sylvia wrote a lot of poetry as she battled depression—something that many writers grapple with. Her rumored last poem, “Edge,” really paints an ominous picture:

The woman is perfected. Her dead 

Body wears the smile of accomplishment, The illusion of a Greek necessity 

Flows in the scrolls of her toga, Her bare 

Feet seem to be saying: We have come so far, it is over. 

Each dead child coiled, a white serpent, One at each little 

Pitcher of milk, now empty. She has folded 

Them back into her body as petals Of a rose close when the garden 

Stiffens and odors bleed From the sweet, deep throats of the night flower. 

The moon has nothing to be sad about, Staring from her hood of bone. 

 

She is used to this sort of thing. Her blacks crackle and drag. 

The reason why I mention Sylvia Plath is that I think about my own self: I’m 28, without an agent, without a final revision to my manuscript and with a lot of fear. While I’ve overcome the depression bit of it, I nevertheless carry a burden of pressure and self-inflicted judgment. We writers are masochists. However, no one is to blame but myself. At least Sylvia wrote—and kept writing—even down to the very end. She was far braver in many ways. Sometimes we need to face the fear of feeling and let it be a continous trickle, rather than pulling the floodgates open all at once. What am I afraid of? Am I afraid of coming undone? Of ending up like Sylvia Plath? Maybe. But I am more afraid of investing so much energy and time and then…failing. 

A friend of mine who teaches writing recently shared my flash fiction, “Anna, Undone” with his college students (unbeknownst to me, but I don't mind a bit!). He reached out to say it was the most talked about writing that week and that they loved it. (As a reference, I had planned months ago on turning that piece into a full novel.) So, what’s the moral of the story? Don’t give up. Even if you think you are a miserable, invisible writer, I guarantee that someone, somewhere will find truth in your words. I need to take my own advice.

I think of Sylvia and the impact she’s had on my young adult fiction. I remember reading The Bell Jar three years ago for my master’s program and feeling my mind unravel. She was that good. And she still haunts us even fifty years later. It pushes me to try again, every day, even if nothing comes out. Because I wouldn't want to die at 30, and not have the chance to see what possibilities lie ahead. My life is great and my writing can only get better. I'll do it for me, I'll do it for Sylvia.

I hold on to the words engraved on her tombstone, and use them as a reminder to keep going:

Even admist fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted. 

"Edge" © The Estate of Sylvia Plath. Faber and Faber Ltd and the Estate of Sylvia Plath from Collected Poems published by Faber and Faber

Dreams as inspiration for stories

Dreams. Nightmares. Sometimes we wake up in the early hours of the morning confused, scared or wondering what in the world is going on in our minds while we sleep. I recently fund myself awake at 2am on a Sunday morning after a particularly disturbing dream that was what I can only describe as a cross between the YA novels Delirium and The Hunger Games. Love meets really screwed up dystopian big brother society.

When I woke up, the first thing I thought was, "This would be an awesome book," and then I proceeded to take notes in darkness. Is there any truth to dreams as catalysts for great stories? I believe so. Are there dreams that seem so awesome by night, but by day are complete jibberish? Absolutely. A good writer keeps trying, though.

Any creative mind has an active subconscious, and that comes alive especially at night. My mind is in constant overdrive. I dream in color, sound, touch, taste, feeling. It's like an out-of-body experience. Sometimes I wake up wondering if there isn't something there that would make a good story. Often times, I don't write my ideas down, and by mid-day the muse has completely flown the coop. So, how do writers tackle the idea of dreams as inspiration for stories? Can a writer channel a best-seller by moonlight?

I definitely think so. And, I have some advice for those writers out there having fantastical dreams but are unsure of how to vet the good ideas from the bad.

1. Always write down your dreams. If it sounds like a good idea at 2am, there is no guarantee that you are going to remember it, let alone like the idea in broad daylight. Some things from the subconscious just don't make sense. Put it on paper and wait until you've had a good cup of coffee before analyzing.

2. Ask your friends. Even if you think you have the next Twilight (which, ironically, was conceived during a dream), run the idea by someone first. What sounds really awesome to you, can sound awful to an innocent bystander. Our minds are messed up and we need to get an objective opinion sometimes.

3. Write. Take your idea and write a scene or a chapter. Do something with the idea to see if it has legs to stand on. If things feel forced or unnatural, maybe the idea isn't something to pursue in the long run. You never know until you give it a chance.

The bottom line is that most of what we dream is fantasy, is subconscious working out the issues of the day. Sometimes, a glimmer of the muse comes through and we think we're on to something. Don't let those dreams pass you buy. Write down anything remotely interesting in a notebook. Keep it bedside so you don't have to go stumbling in the dark. You never know when the next million-dollar idea is going to strike.